Don’t Be Too Eager
“Online dating is making women more frustrated and men are more aloof,” she said. After going through so many failed attempts, you start to see getting into a relationship as a test that you just can’t seem to pass. Looking over some texts that I exchanged with a recent guy, Sameera correctly identified this as one of my problems. I’m so tired of dating that I make myself too available to men I’m not even that sure about. It has nothing to do with the guy. It just feels like a personal failure to have something not pan out yet again, like online dating is a claw machine rigged for me to fail. It doesn’t help that I’m selective and don’t find myself attracted to a man very often, which makes someone I’m into feel more precious than they are. Sameera suggested that I stop being so understanding of men’s bad behavior. She told me to be more patient. And then she gave me a piece of advice I want to crochet on a pillow: “Separate the ego from the outcome.” AKA, don’t take it personally; this isn’t a contest.